Friday, August 21, 2009
{ 7:41 PM }
The time is ticking....oh god.
On Sunday I'll be having my USTET. Today's a Friday. I haven't reviewed much, considering how hectic my schedule has been the past 3 weeks or so-- UPCAT, DSPC, long tests, student council elections and whatnot. Gotta love senior year.
I've never really been this busy in my entire life....I've never stayed up late to finish up a report or filling out college application forms because I'd be leaving at 10AM in the morning to go to Manila and stay in line for 2 hours, let alone study my brains out for an entrance exam, then read editorials at last minute because the exams and competition would be held consecutively. Then again, I realize, I'm in my last year of high school, which is basically preparing me for college...I've got to make everything count.
This is the first time I've ever fast tracked to my future 7 months later and find out that it's still a big question mark. It's like trying to walk in the dark not knowing when the light would come out, but you keep on walking anyway. I used to think that yes, I would pass my dream school and get my dream course, and I'm taking other exams for experience, or that I could say that "Yes, I passed this school". But as you go nearer those sidelines, you realize that you don't have enough security to know that the path you've chosen for yourself is the path that you would go. Even if as The Alchemist says that "If you really want something, all of the universe conspires to help you achieve it", where's the security? I'm no Einstein to know that any school would be glad to take me, though it is nice to have positivity at times. You realize that you need a plan B, if
just in case it won't work out *knocks on wood*. In UST, I chose BS Pharmacy and BS Speech and Language Therapy, and it's known that their pre-med programs are quota courses, but initially I thought, "Hey, I think I'm probably smart, I think I can nail this". But now that it's getting nearer, it is only now that I become skeptic-- "what if I don't pass?" I don't need to
think, I need to
know. I need an assurance that some decent school is going to take me, and I'm trying to be open to every option possible. *sighs heavily*
I don't know what's going to happen to me, I've had different inclinations in the different schools I've applied to, and only God knows the plan He has for me. And that's what keeps me walking in the dark anyway, knowing that somehow, someday, everything will work out, because He has a plan for me. I hope that everything would be okay in the long run, though the wait is a little tedious.
I just needed to let my frustration and paranoia out. Now the munchkin is signing out to hopefully clear her head and maybe rock out to FTSK. :P
Labels: college entrance exams, ust exams, ustet
